TWA

"Hello, my name is Haley and I’m a tail wagger."

“Hello Haley.”

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The Day of Enlightenment has come. That is what I like to call it. The Day of Enlightenment. (Echo, echo, echo...) If we dogs were allowed to feel guilt, then I might have called it, "The Day I Knew What Guilt Was." But we don't. So I didn't.

My tail. My lovely, waggy, happy, long and strappy tail! The very part of me that I never pay attention to. Unless it has an itch. My tail.

Puppies, we have tails. Short, strong, curly, stubby, lengthy, unforgiving, rudimentary, controlled by emotion…tails. They go and go. They wag and wag. While they go and while they wag, they supposedly are potential trouble causers. At least mine is. Subsequently, wherever I go, or more appropriately, wherever I have been, trouble travels close behind..


My tail has left traces of broken knickknacks, spilled coffee cups and wine glasses. Apparently my tail alone is the reason why there are no cute little things on low tables in our house. Apparently, my tail... is the reason why my Sidekick is quick to pick up glasses as soon as I even THINK of passing near her. Apparently my tail is the reason that my sidekick's nephew, puts up his hands and turns his body away from me when I come near him...(when I am only just so happy to see him)...screaming and laughing "The tail! Owe! Haley's tail got me!"

My entire life, I never paid attention to my tail. Why would I? It’s BEHIND ME!!! Of course there are the times when it itches…(I believe I mentioned this previously, but it's a point worth making twice) I have to bite it to stop the itching. Then there is the consideration tuck that I do when I am hopping up on the couch to sit next to the sidekick and instead of swatting her in the face with it, I turn and tuck it as to not hit her. It’s the one thing I must have learned as a small pup. Who wants to hurt their sidekicks? Not me!

My tail has a little swirl on its’ end.

It is my rudder in the water. It catches burrs in the woods. Ouchiee! But besides all these wonderful qualities, it also (and without my consent by the way) swats young children in the chest, head and arms. Bats adults in the shins and knees. Sends breakable objects flying off of coffee tables and other low lying areas. In one whip of it, it machetes’leaves right off of plants! It's true! My lovely, slightly swirly tipped tail, (that is like no other mind you)..has been causing havoc my entire life! And on a regular basis! Almost weekly! And I didn't know about it!!

Since I was a young puppy, I remember looking at small and cute knickknacky things on the shorter tables. I liked them. One by one, things started moving from my immediate view...i.e. out of line with what would be the direct and immediate path of my tail.


So. The Day of Enlightenment comes. What do I do next? How do I come to terms and go forward knowing full well my tails’ history as well as it’s potential ...AND the possible damage that is to come? Well, come closer puppies... and I will tell you exactly how!




Last week I attended my first TWA meeting. (That’s Tail Waggers Anonymous for all you puppies not in the know.) I attended it to not necessarily correct any future behavior, but more importantly, to come to terms with and forgive the actions of my previous tail past. Ignorance is bliss my puppies. Ignorance is bliss. But now that the bliss is substituted with non-bliss and the ignorance is substituted with knowledge....action must take place on my behalf to right my world somehow.

The meeting was held at the corner of where my fence becomes my neighbors' fence. I had overheard in the past few years, puppies at dog parks, mentioning TWA meetings and how they had helped them restore the confidence they needed to get back their 'puppyness'. That free spirited, blissfull unawareness of any bad or accidental thing that may cross their path...type of feeling.

A mini-Schnauzer and myself constituted the meeting. I cannot say what was discussed. But I can tell you this. After some doggy tears, head hanging and sharing...followed by the sniff and tackle (which I believe is thrown in there just to wrap things up,) I felt considerably more secure about tail - things that have been on my mind lately. (Or has it been a year or a day?...I'm not sure.)

But puppies! I found a bit more peace and security in my puppyness. And that is the most important fact no?

In regards to my tail?

The Day of Enlightenment has come, and gone….in peace. Like my tail, I leave it behind.

Snow Days and Holly Days

Happy Snow Days all you most wonderful puppies! May you all have a wonderful weekend and remember to share your treats. It just feels good to do it.

Little Bally Girl "Little Drummer Boy" Christmas Carol #2

A stack of green you see.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

A new can of them for me.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

The one that's on her knee.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

The sidekick looks at me.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

So to bounce and chase.. the
Ba ba ba ba ball.

At the pa - a - ark.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

Baby balls are great.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

They are small but fun.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

I have so many balls.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

That I would give myself.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

Shall you bounce for me?
Ba ba ba ba ball.

On my floor!

Mary nodded.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

The Sidekick too kept time.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

I waited patiently .
Ba ba ba ba ball.

It bounced its' best for me.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

Then it rolled to me.
Ba ba ba ba ball.

Me and my ball.

Me and my ball.

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(Photo by Auntie TK)

Christmas Carols - Haley Style...

My sidekick has been playing ridiculous amounts of Christmas carols lately...which happens every year and it's okay with me! Bing Crosby seems to be played the most...per usual. Here is my own version (because you know how songs get stuck in my head and then it just becomes a doggy tune.) The song is a classic. Just like my sidekick. I hope you enjoy it. BTW, how do you like my tree? See the balls under there? Huh? See those? Those bad boys are mine. :)

Here is your sing-along option...if you like. Just copy and paste in your browser. sing with Bing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3rJX3U9yM8


It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

I’m beginning to lose a lot of my balls.
Everywhere I go.
Apparently it isn’t hard
Just look in my big back yard.
This morning I found two
beneath the snow!

I’m beginning to miss a lot of my balls.
(My balls)
Smelly, fuzzy ones.
But the balls that I miss the most,
are the ones I swear I left
by my own front door.

A trip to the dog park
So I could smell and I would bark
At the lab who took one away.
Go for a walk
To the end of the block
Where I’d find the one that I laid
Between the shrub
Or near the oak
I really cannot say.

I’m beginning to locate some of my balls.
Even around the house.
There was one underneath the bed.
It used to be white and red.
But now it’s black and furry just like meeeeee.

I’m beginning to wish I had some new balls.
With that new ball smelllllll.
But there will be the old I find
But long after Christmas time
Right within our yard.

Instrumental break
Feel free to break into a Fred Astaire dance here

I’m beginning to wonder about my balls.
Soon the snow will melt.
Right now, the prettiest sight to see
Is the ball on my Christmas tree
Near my own front door.
Yeah it’s Christmas
Once more.

Happy Holidays Puppies!!!

Puppy Got Ball

PUPPY WARNING....the following song has been adapted from a much less "puppy-friendly" original version of this song. Please be aware that no matter how much this is truly a safe for puppy version NOW...the original version of the song that I have included as a youtube video is NOT PUPPY FRIENDLY.) If you wish to sing along to this song, copy and paste the following html into another browser. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktzvNvYReMo
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Puppy Got Ball

I like new balls and I can not lie
You other puppies can't deny
That when your sidekick walks in with an itty bitty bag
And a round ball in your face
You get sprung, wanna be all tough
Acting like that ball ain’t stuffed
Out of the pockets the sidekicks’ wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh tennis ball, I wanna get wit'cha
And just go fetch ya
Other puppies tried to warn me
But that ball right there just really warms me
Ooh, yellow and green skin
I know my sidekick is my friend
Well, throw it, you know it
'Cause I ain't the average puppy.

I've seen the begging
To heck with the barking.
They’re round. Great.
Got it goin' on like it’s my fate.
I'm tired of squeaky toys
Taken the place of my yellow joy
Take the average black lab and ask her that
The ball’s gotta be all that

So, puppies! (Yeah!) Puppies! (Yeah!)
Has your sidekick got the ball? (Heck yeah!)
Tell them to throw it! (Throw it!) Throw it! (Throw it!)
Throw that tennis ball!
Puppy got ball
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)

Puppy got ball
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)


I like 'em round, and new
And when you’re throwin, it’s true
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want get them home
And joy! Double-up, joy, joy.
I ain't talkin' bout kong toys
'Cause rubber parts are made for noise.

I want 'em real new and yellow
So find that color that’s mellow
Haley’s in no trouble
Not beggin' for a bit of that kibble
So I'm lookin' at Eukaneuba dog show
watchin' those puppies walkin' like pros
You can have them squeekies
I'll keep my ball cause I know

A word to the mixed up puppies, I wanna help ya
I won't bark or sniff ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fetch
Til the break of dawn
The balls got it goin' on
A lot of pups won't like this song
'Cause them pups like to hide it and leave it
And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm bored and I’m young
And I'm down to get the fetching on
So, puppies! {Yeah!} Puppies! {Yeah}
If you wanna play with those tennis balls! {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick around!
Even older puppies got to shout
Puppy got ball!

Puppy got ball!

Yeah, puppies... when it comes to tennis balls,
colors’ got nothin' to do with my selection.
Orange, Red, Green…
ha ha, only if there’s no yellow to be seen.

So your sidekicks rolls a kong toy
thinkin’ that might bring you some joy
I bet your sidekicks got a tennis ball in the back of her Honda
This lab puppy don't want none
Unless you've got balls, pup
You can do long naps or throw ups,
But please don't lose that ball

Some puppies wanna play that squeaky yo
And tell you that the ball ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So sidekick says that’s that
But you ain’t down with that!
'Cause your needs are small and your clock is tickin’
And you’re thinkin' bout stickin’

To the squeekies laying on your rug:
But they ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a ball, I can't resist it
Red mud and stink didn't miss it
Some other pup tried to dis
'Cause they knows they can’t resist
He had balls but he chose to ignore them
So I pulled up quick to get wit 'em

So puppies, if the ball is round,
And you want to fetch till the sun goes down,
Dial 1-800-THROW-A-BALL
And leave those squeaky toys
Puppy got ball!

Little gray on the snout
But the pups got ball
Little short in the legs
But the pups got ball
Little toys on the ground
But the pups got ball
Little kitties like yarn
But the pups got ball

Abstract Love

Tonight I see
Through the dark just right
The light cuts through
The pane at night
The treat inside my pet store...

Banana Peels, Flash Backs and Chocolate Shavings

Count with me…H1, H2, H3

Did you ever wake up and ask yourself, “where did my ball go? It was right near my paw when I laid my head down. Did it roll somewhere?”

Then you lift your head, look down and see it….

“There it is. Next to my other paw.”

Or maybe instead of a ball, you wonder where is your squeaky toy? You know...the one that is shaped like an animal, that dares you constantly to tear its' limbs off and find that thing within that makes it squeak!

This is what happened to me. Just the other morning. I woke up, looked around, did not see my bright green bug eyed friend...and asked under my breath (as to not wake anyone,) “where is Hamilton?”

Side Kick and I picked Hamilton out together...at the ball and food store. Let me clarify to get it right. SK and I picked out the first Hamilton. H1. The next one...H2...who is missing in this story came later. After H1 disappeared, SK brought H2 home all excited. As SK removed the tags from H2, she excitedly talked about him to me, like I was a puppy. I was more excited about my SK being excited! Another turtle was great...don't get me wrong! But to see my SK's eyes light up like that....you should have seen it! Now THAT is something to live for.

H2 was a nice replacement. A little different look in the eye. A bit more mischievous in nature.

So anyway, I'm laying there, looking around for H2, trying to remember if I brought him to bed with me or not. Not being able to remember for sure, I get myself up. This is difficult because it is early and my SK is still sleeping. All cozy and warm under the covers. Snoring a bit too....although she would hate for anyone to know that. So don't tell anyone.

I get up. Quietly exit the room. I walk. Walk the perimeter of the house. I notice a bit of stuffing on the rug, near the front door. The stuffing, I remember. It is a result of a rather rumpus wrestling match that H2 and I had gotten in to the night before. Yes. The stuffing is lying there like a fluffy, white cloud. I smile. Good times. Good times.

So far, no sign of Hamilton himself. Suddenly an image flashes in my mind.. was that a limb of Hamilton being ripped from his body, thrown into the air and landing where I stand right now? Possibly. I do remember being near the front door during our wrestle.

Wait a minute.....I do remember something now. Standing here on the rug just in front of the door. Suddenly an image. H2's big eyes lookin' at me. His soft, furry body in my mouth. I drop him. He stares at me still. This time I step on his left back leg and .........

Yes, it all comes back to me. H2 and I wrestled indeed. And I won.

I walk through the kitchen. Into the hallway near the bathroom and that is when I remember. The TRASH CAN!

I turn around quickly making a second pass through the kitchen. The trash can looks to be nearly full. Because of my upbringing, I stand there. Looking into the trash can. I take a couple steps toward the can, peering closer and notice a better than good smell. Banana peel. Some chocolate shavings. Stinky vegetables that smell as though they were in the refrigerator too long. Some leftover chicken something that I do remember getting a taste of a few days ago.

I can not see past the chicken. I lean in further and with my teeth begin to carefully remove the contents of the can. Purely for research purposes only. If some food item happens to stick in my teeth and I happen to swallow, then so be it. This is all for the greater cause of finding Hamilton. Possible ingesting of old, thrown away food, I just chalk it up to the hazards of research.

Banana peel, yummy. Mmmmm a few chocolate shavings stuck to the peel! That is some good stuff right there.

And there he is. Hamilton. My big, bright green stuffed turtle head. The big happy smiley face. Some detached green and fluffy white pieces. I lean in to rescue him from the horridness that is the trash can. Just then, I hear the bedroom door open.

My SK is standing at the other end of the hallway. Just looking at me.

The missing details of the previous night come flooding back to me. What began with jovality, ended in limbs being tossed, stuffing flying through the air. You can call it what you want. I see it as a good friendship ending in typical dog/stuffed animal fashion.

My SK is still standing there. She's not mad. I can tell. She rarely gets mad.

We stare at each other. I lick my mouth and taste the banana. SK shakes her head and slowly, she walks toward me.

The next day, SK came home with H3.