Puppy Got Ball

PUPPY WARNING....the following song has been adapted from a much less "puppy-friendly" original version of this song. Please be aware that no matter how much this is truly a safe for puppy version NOW...the original version of the song that I have included as a youtube video is NOT PUPPY FRIENDLY.) If you wish to sing along to this song, copy and paste the following html into another browser. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktzvNvYReMo
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Puppy Got Ball

I like new balls and I can not lie
You other puppies can't deny
That when your sidekick walks in with an itty bitty bag
And a round ball in your face
You get sprung, wanna be all tough
Acting like that ball ain’t stuffed
Out of the pockets the sidekicks’ wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh tennis ball, I wanna get wit'cha
And just go fetch ya
Other puppies tried to warn me
But that ball right there just really warms me
Ooh, yellow and green skin
I know my sidekick is my friend
Well, throw it, you know it
'Cause I ain't the average puppy.

I've seen the begging
To heck with the barking.
They’re round. Great.
Got it goin' on like it’s my fate.
I'm tired of squeaky toys
Taken the place of my yellow joy
Take the average black lab and ask her that
The ball’s gotta be all that

So, puppies! (Yeah!) Puppies! (Yeah!)
Has your sidekick got the ball? (Heck yeah!)
Tell them to throw it! (Throw it!) Throw it! (Throw it!)
Throw that tennis ball!
Puppy got ball
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)

Puppy got ball
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)
(Minnesota live with the rappin’ labby)


I like 'em round, and new
And when you’re throwin, it’s true
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want get them home
And joy! Double-up, joy, joy.
I ain't talkin' bout kong toys
'Cause rubber parts are made for noise.

I want 'em real new and yellow
So find that color that’s mellow
Haley’s in no trouble
Not beggin' for a bit of that kibble
So I'm lookin' at Eukaneuba dog show
watchin' those puppies walkin' like pros
You can have them squeekies
I'll keep my ball cause I know

A word to the mixed up puppies, I wanna help ya
I won't bark or sniff ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna fetch
Til the break of dawn
The balls got it goin' on
A lot of pups won't like this song
'Cause them pups like to hide it and leave it
And I'd rather stay and play

'Cause I'm bored and I’m young
And I'm down to get the fetching on
So, puppies! {Yeah!} Puppies! {Yeah}
If you wanna play with those tennis balls! {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick around!
Even older puppies got to shout
Puppy got ball!

Puppy got ball!

Yeah, puppies... when it comes to tennis balls,
colors’ got nothin' to do with my selection.
Orange, Red, Green…
ha ha, only if there’s no yellow to be seen.

So your sidekicks rolls a kong toy
thinkin’ that might bring you some joy
I bet your sidekicks got a tennis ball in the back of her Honda
This lab puppy don't want none
Unless you've got balls, pup
You can do long naps or throw ups,
But please don't lose that ball

Some puppies wanna play that squeaky yo
And tell you that the ball ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So sidekick says that’s that
But you ain’t down with that!
'Cause your needs are small and your clock is tickin’
And you’re thinkin' bout stickin’

To the squeekies laying on your rug:
But they ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a ball, I can't resist it
Red mud and stink didn't miss it
Some other pup tried to dis
'Cause they knows they can’t resist
He had balls but he chose to ignore them
So I pulled up quick to get wit 'em

So puppies, if the ball is round,
And you want to fetch till the sun goes down,
Dial 1-800-THROW-A-BALL
And leave those squeaky toys
Puppy got ball!

Little gray on the snout
But the pups got ball
Little short in the legs
But the pups got ball
Little toys on the ground
But the pups got ball
Little kitties like yarn
But the pups got ball

Abstract Love

Tonight I see
Through the dark just right
The light cuts through
The pane at night
The treat inside my pet store...

Banana Peels, Flash Backs and Chocolate Shavings

Count with me…H1, H2, H3

Did you ever wake up and ask yourself, “where did my ball go? It was right near my paw when I laid my head down. Did it roll somewhere?”

Then you lift your head, look down and see it….

“There it is. Next to my other paw.”

Or maybe instead of a ball, you wonder where is your squeaky toy? You know...the one that is shaped like an animal, that dares you constantly to tear its' limbs off and find that thing within that makes it squeak!

This is what happened to me. Just the other morning. I woke up, looked around, did not see my bright green bug eyed friend...and asked under my breath (as to not wake anyone,) “where is Hamilton?”

Side Kick and I picked Hamilton out together...at the ball and food store. Let me clarify to get it right. SK and I picked out the first Hamilton. H1. The next one...H2...who is missing in this story came later. After H1 disappeared, SK brought H2 home all excited. As SK removed the tags from H2, she excitedly talked about him to me, like I was a puppy. I was more excited about my SK being excited! Another turtle was great...don't get me wrong! But to see my SK's eyes light up like that....you should have seen it! Now THAT is something to live for.

H2 was a nice replacement. A little different look in the eye. A bit more mischievous in nature.

So anyway, I'm laying there, looking around for H2, trying to remember if I brought him to bed with me or not. Not being able to remember for sure, I get myself up. This is difficult because it is early and my SK is still sleeping. All cozy and warm under the covers. Snoring a bit too....although she would hate for anyone to know that. So don't tell anyone.

I get up. Quietly exit the room. I walk. Walk the perimeter of the house. I notice a bit of stuffing on the rug, near the front door. The stuffing, I remember. It is a result of a rather rumpus wrestling match that H2 and I had gotten in to the night before. Yes. The stuffing is lying there like a fluffy, white cloud. I smile. Good times. Good times.

So far, no sign of Hamilton himself. Suddenly an image flashes in my mind.. was that a limb of Hamilton being ripped from his body, thrown into the air and landing where I stand right now? Possibly. I do remember being near the front door during our wrestle.

Wait a minute.....I do remember something now. Standing here on the rug just in front of the door. Suddenly an image. H2's big eyes lookin' at me. His soft, furry body in my mouth. I drop him. He stares at me still. This time I step on his left back leg and .........

Yes, it all comes back to me. H2 and I wrestled indeed. And I won.

I walk through the kitchen. Into the hallway near the bathroom and that is when I remember. The TRASH CAN!

I turn around quickly making a second pass through the kitchen. The trash can looks to be nearly full. Because of my upbringing, I stand there. Looking into the trash can. I take a couple steps toward the can, peering closer and notice a better than good smell. Banana peel. Some chocolate shavings. Stinky vegetables that smell as though they were in the refrigerator too long. Some leftover chicken something that I do remember getting a taste of a few days ago.

I can not see past the chicken. I lean in further and with my teeth begin to carefully remove the contents of the can. Purely for research purposes only. If some food item happens to stick in my teeth and I happen to swallow, then so be it. This is all for the greater cause of finding Hamilton. Possible ingesting of old, thrown away food, I just chalk it up to the hazards of research.

Banana peel, yummy. Mmmmm a few chocolate shavings stuck to the peel! That is some good stuff right there.

And there he is. Hamilton. My big, bright green stuffed turtle head. The big happy smiley face. Some detached green and fluffy white pieces. I lean in to rescue him from the horridness that is the trash can. Just then, I hear the bedroom door open.

My SK is standing at the other end of the hallway. Just looking at me.

The missing details of the previous night come flooding back to me. What began with jovality, ended in limbs being tossed, stuffing flying through the air. You can call it what you want. I see it as a good friendship ending in typical dog/stuffed animal fashion.

My SK is still standing there. She's not mad. I can tell. She rarely gets mad.

We stare at each other. I lick my mouth and taste the banana. SK shakes her head and slowly, she walks toward me.

The next day, SK came home with H3.